The first step, Winter says is to “Ask yourself which is more important: Pleasing your mate or pleasing yourself? Lovers come and go. But you must count on yourself for a lifetime.” But that doesn’t automatically mean the relationship has to end. Dr. Brown says it’s time to talk to your partner about what you are feeling. “My advice would be to talk with your partner about these and any other issues,” he advises. “If they cannot be resolved by yourselves, then it’s probably time to consider talking to trusted family, friends, and to seek professional counseling to help you better understand whether or not it is healthy to continue in your relationship.”
Dr. Feuereisen agrees that the first step is to open the lines of communication with your partner, but just as important is recognizing when it’s time to cut your losses and let go if they don’t hear you out. “Tell your partner what you need, be clear. Give the partner a month to see if the behavior changes. If it does not, and you still feel unhealthy in the relationship, it is probably time to move on,” she says. “In any relationship you need to say what you want and need, if that does not bring fruitful results it is time to move on. Don’t ever stay just because you are afraid to be alone. The truth is when you are strong enough to get out of an unhealthy relationship, and you have learned what is good for you and what isn’t, you have that knowledge to bring into your next relationship and it will be better.”
